Made FOR China

OK, there is a conspiracy going on here. Don’t look at me in that patronizing way, I’m serious and there’s nothing you can say to convince me otherwise! I don’t know who started all of this, but obviously the world wants me to go to China or some unfortunate accident will befall me. The Economist is in on it, running cover-feature articles on how China is the next big thing, along with Newsweek. They had a whole EDITION for China and how incredibly quickly it’s growing and amazing the opportunities are now. Periodicals aren’t the only ones, there’s a bestselling book out called China, Inc. all about the possibilities of economically reformed modern China. Oh! Let’s not forget the television! Do you have any idea how many stories have run lately on “China the up and coming,” “China the fabulous,” “China: what will be left when we’re all gone.” WHO IS BEHIND ALL OF THIS?!?!

No, it’s really cool. I mean, my parents fears are being assuaged greatly by the fact that China even has the word “modern” applied to it and that is reflected so positively in the media. To be completely honest, I am too. Going that far away is a fairly frightening prospect, so, I think that a positive image of my home for the next 7 months will ease my nerves a bit. I watched the VCD that Liu laoshi gave me again with my parents today, and I’m really psyched. Actually, Kunming reminds me a bit of Dublin in parts, if you can imagine that. I can’t wait to see what it’s actually like when I get there. Whenever I travel, I build up the place so much in my mind, trying to predict every detail, that it’s really quite amazing when you get there and see what’s really going on. I’m not always wildly wrong, but it’s always a lot better than I imagine, partially because new experiences are nearly always so amazing that all the negative sort of evanesces. It’s going to be amazing. Only just a week and a few days! AHHHHHH!!!

So, moving out is MESSY. I can’t even express what a total catastrophe my room is right now. Tomorrow Mom and I are going to clean while Heather is at school and Dad is at work so that we can restore some semblance of order. I can live like this for just so long until no amount of exhaustion can keep me from cleaning it up. Actually, I’m not tired anymore, but I was, far more so than I thought actually, when I came home. I nearly fell asleep several times on Saturday and Friday night! Sheesh! It’s like when Erin and I went to Europe. I can stave off sleep when I need to for really long periods of time, where certain people (cough, Erin), cannot. Oh well, we can’t all be perfect . He he he. So, instead of doing all our cleaning today, Mary came over and her and Mom played cards while Dad watched (slept through) TV, Heather and Cait did homework (straightened their hair) and I studied Chinese (downloaded unnecessary programs on my computer). It was a pretty typical afternoon, and then Heather, Mary, Mom, Cait, and I all went and saw Monster-In-Law which is HILARIOUS! Actually, I did make some tabs on what I need to study in my Chinese vocab book this week, so I’d better take advantage of them and get going.

明天再见！

One Last Post from Hunt 306

Well, that’s all folks! It’s done! I took my final, I moved Joy-El into Suzuki Sensei’s house, and I’ve put all the stuff in my room in some sort of ready-to-pack form. Yep, this year is done. I must say, it’s been a little nerve wracking, especially when I saw my Chinese T.A. (Liu laoshi) and thought how the next time I saw her, we’d be on her turf which is also known as THE PEOPLE’S REPUBLIC OF CHINA!!! I’m really looking forward to seeing it, but to be honest, there are two things that greatly worry me. I am having a problem with China’s reputation as being a dirty country. I mean, I know that it has done a lot of cleaning up and such, but the idea of a place with diseases the U.S. hasn’t really seen in quite awhile is a bit intimidating. I realize that most of those are probably in the deep Chinese countryside, but it’s a hard thought to shake out of my brain since I’m from there our neurotically clean United States. Secondly, I’ve done a fair bit of traveling, so going there isn’t really what worries me; it’s the length of the stay that is troublesome. I mean, 6.5 months isn’t just a week or two. It will obviously be worth it if I put any effort in at all, which I plan to, but it’s still intimidating.

Poor Oliver! I meant to see him again today before he is off to Australia and I am off to China since it isn’t everyday he is over here from Sweden, but sadly I just haven’t had the time. I tried calling and just got voicemail Damn and blast! Oh well, since he and I will be roughly in the same time zone this semester, we’ll probably do a bunch more chatting than normal since we’ll probably be the only people on each other’s buddy lists that are awake at the same time. Well, hopefully he’s into LiveJournal or something, that would be cool. Thanks to Amber, I’ll soon be joining some LiveJournal communities to see just how cool this thing can be. Well, I suppose I’d ought to vacuum before they get here. Good bye UVM! I’ll see you in the spring! My last spring here ! All these dark thoughts! It’s a beautiful day, and I need to just do what Colin said this morning, “Take life as it comes; roll with the punches. ” Oh! That reminds me that he said China was amazing when he went there to study for awhile and he’s also very much loved Kenya. I can’t wait until the two of us can sit down and talk about our experiences together. That will be remarkable!

The Ticking Clock

Why is it that we all feel so sentimental this time of the year? Why is everyone’s excitement for the reprieve from school work tainted by the hint of a frown and the frequent bouts of pensive daydreaming? After all these times of ending the school year, wouldn’t it seem that we would all be used to this? That it wouldn’t be emotional? Why are we upset when we know we’ll all be back together again so soon? Is it the change? Is it because we loathe where we are going during the summer months? I think, while running errands around L&L today and seeing the window to the old room that Tom and I shared, the window through which we both climbed many times when we locked ourselves out; the windows Emily, Caitlin, and Amanda used to knock on to be let in; the very window I occasionally gazed through at night to look up at the stars, I realized something. It isn’t the change of moving places that is making us sad. For the most part, we are very familiar with where we are going and what we are going to be doing there. We have friends established there, and in the case of going home, we are actually returning to what in theory should be the more familiar. I believe the reason we feel so sentimental is because change, regardless of its permanence, reminds us of the passage of time. It reminds us that there is no going back, there are no do-overs, no “insert another quarter to continue” ‘s; what’s done and in the past is locked there forever. Not only can it not be changed, but to some extent, it can never be relived. We have our memories, but they only serve to remind us, and not to generate new experiences or even repeat the ones we treasure. Memories, like clouds, are amorphous and ever-changing; they cannot replace the concrete experiences which they so deftly record in our minds.

I just finished my last final of my junior year about thirty minutes ago, and after getting very little sleep, I think it’s safe to say that I’m more pensive than average today. Small amounts of sleep do that to me for some reason. After returning to my room, I spoke with Colin who is in Kenya still, writing a 40 page paper, which, in true Colin style, he has put off until two days before the due date. I can’t say I’m surprised; the two of us did things like that all the time freshman year. Ahh, ISSP and the night before a paper; the whole suite buzzing with the energy of four crazy procrastinators all typing madly at their keyboards to get the paper done just in time for a short un-restful night that lasted just until the very last minute where we could get up, run out the door, and get to class on time. Those were the days, and yet they seem so long ago. In reality, my entire college experience only accounts for a small fraction of my life, but it has been so life-changing and so incredibly rewarding, that it’s hard to imagine that my college days are quickly drawing to an end. Today I said goodbye to many people that will be graduating at the end of the month; fellow French majors who I will most likely never see again. How could we sit so close to each other for all these years and yet have so little real contact? These are the type of remorseful goodbyes that leave me wondering why, as people, we don’t reach out more. Casual acquaintances are simply friends that you are too lazy to make. Relationships take work, that’s true, but it always seems that it would have been worth the effort when you’re parting ways with someone.

So, as I sit in my barren room and type, I think to myself that the reason I haven’t yet defrosted my fridge isn’t because Cynthia forgot to remind me, or even because I forgot myself. It is because unplugging the refrigerator symbolizes another year ended, another semester that I must process and file into the annals of my life. It symbolizes the continual unstoppable changing that is life, and my powerlessness to stop it frightens me at times. OK fridge, let’s bite the bullet. OK room, I’m saying goodbye now. OK UVM, thanks for the great year and the friends you have provided for me. OK self, it’s time to accept the change and move forward. There is no turning back.

7358

Just a quick post, since it’s nearly 1AM and I need to actually get up and do work in the AM. I went out with Erin and Cynthia for our last night together (so sad). We saw Crash, which, by the way, is an incredibly powerful movie. It is very good in an entertaining sort of way, but is highly provocative politically and mentally. We also stopped at Dunkin’ Donuts for our last round of caffeinated beverages together. I’ll say goodbye to Erin tomorrow, see her once more for kayaking, and then it will be 7 months before I see her again. My God that’s a long time! I mean, I’ll see Joy-El a few more times, but after our day Saturday, I won’t see her for 7 months, I’ll see Cynthia at the Hollands’ barbeque, but not again after that, I’ll see Amanda, Liz, and hopefully Gisele all once more, and then it’s off across the great big ocean for little old me. Scary? HORRIFYING?! Yes, but also more than worth the fear and constant butterflies in my stomach. I think Mom is still waiting for me to cancel, and some other people might actually doubt that I’ll go, but I think they are going to be surprised. I really mean it this time, and it’s really necessary for my career and enrichment as a human being. With my professors and some classmates going, I think I can keep the constant need to vomit out terror in check. I’m fine right now, but every day inches me toward that step onto the plane in Burlington, waving goodbye to Mom, Dad, Heather, and Shirley, and then that second step onto the plane in Chicago where I’ll be waving not this time at my family, but at my entire country for seven whole months. Seven months. A period that would normally just go whizzing by, taking with it the summer and golden and red autumn leaves and bringing winter’s first snow. But this year is going to be different. In these next seven months, I am going to have as many new experiences as I’ve had in the last seven years, and possibly more than I’ve had in the last 21. It’s the start of a journey into the future; I just have to muster the courage to take the first step.

Besides my inner thoughts, here are some neat little blogthings that you might want to check out. They’re pretty entertaining!